Going through labour

It sounds crazy that I have gone through 9 months of pregnancy and delivered a baby. I went into the hospital on 12 March around 9am to induce labour under doctor's advice because there are dangers to baby if she goes beyond 40 weeks. After some administrative work, we were brought to the labour ward - a single bedded room equipped with a TV, a sofa for Joel, and a bed for me. I changed into the hospital gown, which is a white sheet that opens up at the back for easy access. At the side of the opening are strings used to tie the covering close, but the nurses told me to leave it open. I was awkwardly walking around holding the cloth together so that the nurses wont be seeing my butt hanging out. 

I laid down on the hospital bed, and they covered me with a blanket from the waist down. Later I found out that the gown needs to be this way because they are constantly checking my cervical dilation. I was mentally prepared for that, but it was strange not to be asked for permission but instructed to expose myself to whoever comes into the room. There was a lady from China that stood around not doing much, they said she was 'observing' and she did not introduce herself until I asked. I wonder if that is the normal labour experience, or would it be different if I had gone for the private route.

I went in with a cervical dilation of around 3cm, and that allowed the doctors to induce labour the most natural way possible - by breaking my water bag. I couldn't see anything, but Joel said it was bloody and that started my labour process. It was initially painless even when the machine showed that I was having contractions. The nurses said that I have high pain tolerance which I was glad to hear. But soon enough the labour pains began. The initial pains felt like normal period cramps, and slowly progressed to feeling like a bad case of food poisoning. It also felt like I really needed to poop, which the nurses explained is the baby bearing down on me, preparing to come out into the world.

After a few hours of labour using only laughing gas, I gave up and opted for epidural instead. It was not just the labour pains, but also the added weight of Allison in me that made things more uncomfortable. My butt was hurting when I laid on my back but I couldn't constantly lay on my side. I had to constantly switch from lying on my left, to the centre, and to the right. The nurses would come in to flip me around to see which position baby preferred and every time I turn, it hurts. The cervical checks also hurt a ton. But all these pains disappeared after epidural. 

I was hopeful that the process would be quick and I would be able to see Allison soon, but little did we expect the labour process to be 24 hours long. It lasted from 12 March 10am, to 13 March around 11am - that is a full 24 hrs and more worth of labour and I only ate a chocolate bun and a styrofoam cup of water this whole time. Towards the end, I was parched and cranky. 

By around 13 March 11.30am, I was wheeled into the operation theatre for an emergency c-section procedure because the labour was too long and it would be dangerous for both baby and me if it dragged on. It was an emotional turn of events because Joel and I wanted to do this as natural as possible. We did perineal massages to prevent tears, harvested colostrum from week 37 to facilitate the breastfeeding process, and tried to start off with laughing gas instead of opting for epidural straight away. 

Being wheeled off for c-section was scary for me because I did no research on the procedure. Before going into the OT, the doctors read me a list of possible complications and asked for my signature. The risks sounded severe, such as the possibility of nerve damage, but it felt like I didn't have a choice anyway because I didn't want to put both baby and I in danger by insisting on natural birth. 

In the OT,  I was laid down on the surgical table with a cloth in between my chest and the lower part of my body. This acted as a cover so that I wouldn't be able to see the operation going on. I thought I would be under GA, but apparently that would be risky for the baby. I was given more epidural as pain relief for the c-sec procedure, but now instead of not feeling anything from the waist down, I couldn't feel anything from my abdomen down. It was probably a higher dose of epidural and I had a serious case of the shivers which is a known side effect. As they tried to get baby out, I could feel the pulls and tugs in my womb. There was no pain but I had a lot of fear. Her cries came suddenly and I was relieved the whole process was over and I just craved for some water because at this point, it was 25 hours of surviving on IV drip and one chocolate bun. I was parched and hungry.

As I was laying on the surgical table, the doctors asked if I wanted to have skin-on-skin time with my baby. It was basically carrying baby on my chest while the both of us are naked - me topless and baby with no diapers and clothes on. I had imagined it to be in a dimly lit room, and I would be able to have a cloth covering both me and baby. I said yes to skin-on-skin, and little did I expect the doctors to take away the cover on my chest for everyone to see in the brightly lit operating theatre. I felt exposed, cold, uncomfortable, and had bad shivers from the epidural. The skin-on-skin barely lasted 5 minutes, and I told the doctors to take baby away from me. A serious case of mom guilt kicked in because of that - why didn't I want to continue carrying her? I couldn't do the skin-on-skin for an hour as highly recommended by all the classes I attended. It was supposed to help baby recognise me and help with our bonding. 

At that point, baby was taken away to joel in the waiting area, and I was wheeled to the recovery room. In the recovery room, I hated that they had to expose my chest and put an ice block on it to test if I can feel anything. This happened every 10 mins for an hour and then I was finally wheeled into the 6-bedded maternity ward. The next 3 days of recovery in the maternity ward was brutal. That would take another post maybe, but right now I am 1.5hrs late into my pumping session. More updates the next time I can catch a break.