Injuring my finger while learning Tchoukball

 

In Wesley Youth Centre (WYC), we used to play tchoukball every Thursday. It has stopped now because of low interest from the children and youth there. But when I first joined in 2018, it was one of the first few activities I participated in.

I don't know how the rules work, and I think I have bad hand-eye coordination. The senior staff explained the rules and demonstrated how to catch the ball properly without injuring myself. He explained, 'When the ball goes low, and you catch it at an angle, you might injure your finger, so always catch it this way'. He proceeded to demonstrate how the ball might come at me at an awkward angle. I tried to catch it, and as it landed in my hands, I felt a sharp pain go through my fingers. 

I continued playing after spraying something on my fingers. It felt sore and I knew something was off. As I am reflecting on this, I feel a sense of regret that this happened because now my right pinky is permanently bent. 

There are other regrets that I have, such as skateboarding down an uneven, winding car park ramp - I almost went over the ramp and fell to my death. To add to that, I was wearing shorts and now I have a scar on my knee. Beauty is something I hold on to dearly then and now and these accidents took some parts of it away from me. My husband says it is okay, that he loves me still no matter how many scars I have and scars just mean that my body is well used. I know he means it and it makes me feel better and more confident of myself than before. But this topic on body image is for another day. 

During the tchoukball game, I kicked the ball to return it to someone and the kids went, 'Orh hor! Push ups!' I didn't know kicking the ball was not allowed, it obviously wasn't, but I wasn't thinking. I got down on my knees to receive the forfeit. I was quite proud of myself because I could have easily excused myself by explaining that I didn't know the rules, or that I am an authority figure here so I do not need to be forfeited. Anyway, I don't think I got into the Tchoukball game with the right mindset or perhaps I over estimated myself.

My takeaway from injuring my finger and being forfeited is that I should not try and prove my worth while doing ministry work.  I got that learning from Leviticus 10:1-2:

Now Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, each took his censer and put fire in it and laid incense on it and offered unauthorized fire before the LORD, which he had not commanded them. And fire came out from before the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD.

I wondered why my accident was necessary. In reflecting about this passage from Leviticus, I learned that God cares about how we worship Him. It seems accidental that I injured my finger while learning tchoukball because of my inexperience, but the state of my heart was what was called to my attention. The sin was minor and hard for others to tell, but I knew that I was worshiping God for others to see. I guess let's not try and do that again. May God grant me a pure heart.