Celebrating my 30th birthday

Got a haircut in the morning underneath my HDB block, went for a facial at Bukit Batok in my beautician's flat, met Joel for Green Dot lunch, went to pick up dinner plates at Qultured in Raffles City, checked out Nespresso and decided on getting Essenza mini machine if Joel doesn't manage to fix our broken Innisia, went back home to be picked up by in-laws to eat at Ivin's for dinner. 

Desserts and cakes received includes Fruit Paradise fruit tart from in-laws, an assortment of tarts from Aunty Adeline, Haagan Daz Rum and Raisin, Acai Affair from Claire and Jian. Fruit Paradise tart is not as good as it looks, but I am glad to finally have something I wanted since Secondary School. Funny how our enjoyment level of the same things might wane over the years if the want is not fulfilled. Perhaps it is better to have something now when I know I will enjoy it, than to delay it and find it difficult to know what I would enjoy. But because my wants and desires was always deemed as unnecessary and self denial was a valued virtue, some part of me lost touch with the ability to play and identify my wants. Is this contentment or a disability?

I realized this when I was asked what I wanted for my birthday, and I drew a blank. I knew I would get what I ask for without question even if it was extravagant. But because that possibility was rarely given to me, the ability to dream for material items does not come easy. I wonder how much of this is present in other aspects of my life. Perhaps if I were born in a more affluent family, or in a different country, then I would have greater dreams for myself. That is not to say I don't appreciate the upbringing I had with my parents, they gave me their best and it was more than enough.

Being 30, I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin, aware of my faults and abilities, less concerned about opinions that don't matter or I know that are not true. My worth is a lot more rooted in my self knowledge and in God. I think the 30s will be a lot better than my 10s and 20s.