pizza crumbs

Just wondering.

2011-09-29T05:50:00.002+08:00

I pray that the love you have for me will motivate a love for others that i could never have on my own. In your name i pray, Amen.

-Tom holladay 40 DOL.

If we can never have it on our own, how do non-believers love ??

trying.

2011-08-03T18:41:00.001+08:00

so i have learnt that trying isn't good enough. because if you dont achieve anything, it doesn't mean much.

how endearing.

2011-07-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

Excerpt from mrbrown:
The wife wanted to bring the kids along but I told her, let's make this two-day one-night staycation something for just the two of us. I was away in Sydney for a week before this and really wanted to spend a little "us" time.
Living it up at Marina Bay Sands (MBS)
The view was the first thing that struck us. From our suite on the 52nd floor, I could see the Fullerton Hotel, the Esplanade "durians", the Marina Floating Platform, and pretty much the entire CBD. It was pretty breathtaking.

My wife pointed to the tiny little white statue below and asked, "Where is the regular Merlion? I only see a mini one."
"What do you mean? That IS the regular Merlion!"
"Oh," she said sheepishly, "But it looks so small!"
"We are on the 52nd floor, dear. Everything looks small."

HAHAHA. i love mrbrown <3

anw, watch this :)

breakeven.

2011-07-08T01:11:00.002+08:00

Its hard to find someone that you love, and love you back. So when you do, dont ever let go.

Im just saying :) very true quote!

should i? should i not. should i ? should i not.

2011-07-06T00:51:00.007+08:00

What do you do when you cant make up your mind over something that is really important ? we all know that sometimes the smallest decision can make a lot of changes on the outcome, be it good or bad.

So when i was looking through some quotes about decision making, i came across a few like this:

High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.
Make decisions from the heart and use your head to make it work out

And i realized that they are all.. kinda against the biblical values. i think? Although i may have very limited knowledge about the bible and decision making, i thought we are supposed to pray about things and ask God for directions instead of jumping into something based on our knowledge? Also, following our heart isn't what we should do as what we feel may not be right. and usually, they are wrong. hah. all im saying is, making choices would be a really easy thing if you set your values straight. and we know where to get the values from :) but its definitely not an easy thing to do.

Tonight i can write the saddest lines.

2011-07-04T22:44:00.018+08:00

Had my first CC (creative communication) class today with the new teacher esther. she is really pretty, with a sharp face and features. A look that does not scream SINGAPOREAN. Good fashion sense, nice, and she notices our pretty painted nails. :D Anw, we are gonna learn poems this time round. Here is my favourite poem picked from those she shared. Kinda abstract and may be boring to some that dont appreciate. i think.

Off your lights and meditate for 1 minute before indulging! close your eyes and listen to it. there are lines below if you cant catch it. :)

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

- Pablo Neruda

this poem has needles poking out of them. if you know what i mean.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2011-06-29T21:31:00.003+08:00

School assignments.

Tsa work.

Piano exam.

Church.

band ???

this is too much. :'( cant balance between all these. i say the maximum i can handle is 2 of the above at once. not to mention one of them has many many subsets. how ?????

Undefinable

2011-06-27T23:11:00.005+08:00

i am speechless. silent. No doubt this is what i have always asked for. But why give it to me now when i totally gave up hope on it and find it impossible to share what i've been wanting the whole world to know ?

I've had those pearls you gave me, right there, in my hands. I knew they were precious, and different. But it seemed like the world is unappreciative of it. Young and foolish as i were, threw them straight into the dump. hah!

Thanks for giving it to me anyway. now i just have to find them back.

hey guys.

2011-06-24T22:10:00.011+08:00

It is really really very hard for me to say this

but i cant take it anymore, i have to confess ...

I found a local band that does rock/hardcore/metalcore really impressive! :O

THERE I SAID IT.

things i have to do.

2011-06-20T18:19:00.002+08:00

1. clear up my room

2. Start doing QTs again

3. read books

4. practice piano

whats with me and lists these few days. :/

THE list.

2011-06-19T04:08:00.009+08:00

~~Qualities my future boyfriend MUST have.~~

Qualities that an ideal, probably non-existant, future boyfriend should have.

1. Sensitive, a thinker. but not too sensitive.

2. charismatic.

3. positive outlook in life, mixed with a little realism.

4. Not too goody goody, but not a jerk.

6. Fun personality

7. Good general knowledge so they can impress me in every conversation without effort.

8. Knows how to keep an interesting conversation going

10. Not to blabber. i might have trouble following through the conversation.

11. not too silent though.

12. Good with directions. or maybe not, since we have iphones with awesome google map.

13. dont look horrifyingly bad. Puts in effort to groom himself. preferably vainer than me, so i can enjoy shopping with him and we can choose clothes for each other. how fun! :D

14. Be driven for something. :)

15. No sexual needs.

16. Interested to know about me, not uncaring and self-centered.

To be continued!

<3!

2011-06-04T21:18:00.005+08:00

abused, bullied, betrayed, abandoned.

The person might be emotionally affected and probably scarred for life. I guess the best solution to this is to get over it and move on with life. Not to let those idiots bring you down to nothing and ruin you. But then again, much easier said than done. Everyone has different situations. You need not be raped to be able to justify your fear of sex. Or bullied, thus losing self esteem. Betrayed, thus losing trust in people. Your fear may be caused by something minor, or something that doesnt even make sense.

For me, my dad said that i was really cheerful as a kid. talkative and stuff. until this teacher scolded me for being a pain. Since then, things have changed. even up till now.

so, whats your story? :)

Beyond comprehension

2011-05-15T15:45:00.005+08:00

wake up from your slumber to a coffin.

The Script

2011-05-02T15:20:00.002+08:00

Just my opinions.

2011-04-26T22:57:00.003+08:00

There are millions of emotions out there that we humans are capable of feeling. and there can be more than 5 feelings going on in us at one point of time. isn't it just amusing?

Regrets. guilt. freedom. happiness. reminiscence. hopelessness. disappointment. fear. hope.

where does all these put you? i say no matter what, do not lose hope nor lose faith in God. Once you have non, you have nothing.

dont we just amuse each other.

2011-04-19T22:19:00.003+08:00

how can anyone get so excited about things and go:

OMGOMG sushi!!! and run towards it like it is the love of their life ?
I WANT THAT SHIRT T-T but i have no money. gonna starve myself and eat nothing to save money and get it
I LOVE xxx DRAMA
I LOVE _______ <- some random guy from a korean drama.

Not against anyone that does these things but i just don't understand! Not that i didnt see that amazing shirt, shoe, actor, song, food, pen, notebook, shop or baby that they are so interested in. yeah, its nice but, really ? so nice that you'll hyperventilate and die for em ? haha.

Or i think i just have some problems getting excited :S

Year number two.

2011-04-18T22:30:00.003+08:00

felt like it is the FIRST DAY of YEAR ONE for me though. like you know, the first day of school where you get all excited and say to yourself, 'Hey, im gonna score straight As and get a 4 gpa' ? yeah that. hope its still not too late to feel this only now :)

was totally in my own world and ignoring everyone around me last year. ahhhh. only have myself to blame :@

2011-04-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

i was so bored today, that i went to search: 'Things to do when you are bored' on Google.

im just saying ._.

2011-04-10T01:44:00.002+08:00

i prayed for a good day today. something that i have never prayed for. perhaps cause i thought it would be up to me/ fate/ chance to decide. but i guess not.

today is a good day.

Thank you <3

hello.

2011-03-25T01:47:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt so much guilt that you just wanna punch/ slap/ slash/ amputate yourself -.-

oh yes he is a dog lover.

2011-03-17T23:08:00.003+08:00

He named the dog fluff and pampered her so much. The first week he got her, clothes, shoes, spa and presents. He got her everything that was the best. Everyone knows that he is a dog lover, thus thought that his actions are justifiable.

But after a while, things changed. he got colder and colder. You see, he knows that fluff lovessssss BRAND A's dog food. but one day, he decided that its too expensive and got BRAND B's instead. Oh, what can the dog do ? he is just a dog anyway. No more clothes, spa, presents. He still brings her to the vet's though. It was his responsibility.

Yeah, he still loves fluffy. but just not as much as before. All he did was switch the food's brand and lessen the spending. how can love be measured with 'much' or 'little' anyway?

I say he loves fluffy, but he is just not in love with her anymore :)

DSLR

2011-03-14T23:32:00.002+08:00

Me is gonna get me a DSLR soon. since its gonna cost quite a bomb, perhaps i should remind myself why i got it so there would be no regrets .___.

1.It is able to give a more accurate preview of the actual moment

2. Its inter changeable lenses

3. Function that allows accurate preview of depth of field

4. Larger sensors compared to compact cams

5. reduces noise.

this is all i know so far. should research more.. hm.

ahhhhh!

2011-03-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

Don't you think we are very blessed to be living in Singapore instead of anywhere else in the world ? Protected from tsunami, earthquake, tornado. The worst natural disaster singapore could have would be flooding at orchard road. i think? :D

actually come to think of it, there are many things that i should be thankful about in my life.

1. My four limbs are still intact.

2. Having a peace of mind everyday, not needing to worry about natural disasters

3. Wonderful parents who are still alive.

4. No financial difficulties

5. Still have my youth. should treasure it before my hair turns grey, and have osteoporosis.

6. I still have my health. high blood pressure high cholestrol. pneumonia. cancer. aids. blah.

7. i am not disfigured.

8. i am alive

9. i am still breathing.

10. Theres probably more but i cant think of em.

Everything fades. We hold on firmly, but things would still go. Lets be thankful instead :)

Mercy by Jodi Picoult

2011-03-09T20:09:00.003+08:00

Allie did at least a hundred things each day simply because of their effect on Cam. They bound him to her: she'd drop his shirts off at the cleaners without being asked, or lay out a bowl of cereal for him before she went to bed so it was there in the morning, or, as in the case of the tea, open herself to teasing just to guarantee an exchange of conversation.

It never occurred to Allie that this was very similar to behaviorally drugging Cam. Or that every selfless errand she ran for her husband was another silken strand that wrapped him tight, like a spider trapping her prey with guilt. Or that Cam was strong enough, and sure enough, to break out of any hold or system Allie could ever create.

Ohhhhh.

2011-03-02T15:56:00.000+08:00

It would be the two of us against the world :)

2011-03-02T03:03:00.006+08:00

This song is amazing. How can there be no official music video for it and this has only 3344 views?! The lyrics couldnt be found either, i had to try and figure it out.

____________________________________________________________________

You say good morning

i turn around and say hello.

A million stories behind those eyes,

i wanna get to know.

Friends think im crazy but im in love,

do you feel it too ?

I feel this heart beating and im going crazy

cant believe its true.

you make me burn for you,

yearn for you.

burn for you

yearn for you.

Until the day you walk on by again,

Ill be loving you.

I guess im blinded,

reality never seemed so clear

Its the two of us out against the world,

whenever you are near.

Jump in a car and go to no where,

as long as we are alone.

lets go away and leave the world behind,

whenever you are around.

you make me burn for you,

yearn for you.

burn for you

yearn for you.

i miss.

2011-02-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

late night phone calls.

random 'i love you' texts.

oh the romance.

cry yourself to sleep tonight.

things will be bettertmr :)

God, religion.

2011-02-09T00:57:00.003+08:00

It is not that i have such a strong faith in God now. Sometimes i wonder if He is real, if i have been wasting my life following all His ways and values. sometimes when i can feel his presence, i love him. sometimes i hate him because he throw me into sufferings and leave me all alone. Sometimes i doubt his presence, confuse myself, as i dont know what im doing anymore. Bearings were lost as i fall too far down.

Thoughts of leaving God totally crept into my mind as i hate being a christian so very much. I HATE. restrictions, expectations, tests and temptations that God put you through. utter hell. but when i think about what God has done for me, i become thankful again.

Like this year, God is probably non existant in my life. Every decision i take, is based on my own judgement not His. Everything i do is based on my ability and strength. and i tell you, it was more hell-ish than the hell i have experienced by following his ways. know why ? cause im screwing up every single thing i do. every freaking thing.

now i understand why following God, can bring you peace, love and joy.

peace love and joy, i had it. but i never knew i had it. now im missing it.

____________________________________________________________________

how can anyone not acknowledge the presence of god ? what will they be living for then ? since we would all die in the end.

sneak peak.

2011-02-05T23:16:00.002+08:00

move on girl. nobody gives a damn about you. smile, move on with life, put the best foot forward and pretend like everything is going well :) and perhaps things will get better.

MM lee kuan yew.

2011-01-22T14:36:00.003+08:00

he doesn't believe in feng shui, has nothing against homosexuality, and says that love at first sight is bullshit.

”Lee Kuan Yew: Hard Truths to Keep Singapore Going”

can anyone get me this book? pretty pretty please ?

it costs 39.90 :(

today was such a bad day

2011-01-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

Got woken up by an angry mom. She was mad at me for not waking up at once, causing us to be late for church. But the fact is i didn't even hear her. bad start to a day really spoils your mood. so i dragged myself to church. And my mom viewed that as me being tired and scolded at me again for always sleeping late. But in fact i was just irritated that she had to spoil my day right from the start.

oh well.

had lunch with jyf people after church. and had a conversation with the guys. it just brought my mood even lower. i am really not enjoying this. i hate people thinking that i enjoy doing things that i shouldn't. because i really hate it. hate. hate how my everything has gone down to ground zero.

but, oh well.

skipped prayer meeting and went home after lunch. tried to do work but ended up procrastinating as usual. hated myself even more. but got better after a 2hrs nap. Asked my friend over my place, thinking that perhaps it would cheer me up. i even put in the effort to look happy and cheerful and whateveriamobviouslynotfeeling. But what i got back was just a cold shoulder. really doesnt help at all.

can you feel the mundaneness of all the mundane activities which causes my mundane sadness. what the hell am i typing, this sentence doesnt make sense at all.

oh and i realised that clarice > soccer (clarice bigger than soccer ) was just a freaking lie.

kthxbai.

when i found you, i found myself.

2011-01-05T22:13:00.004+08:00

Daoshis, please dont blame me for misuse of language. i didnt type those.

New year resolutions.

1. start paying attention to surroundings

2. say hi when i see people

3. get back the discipline

4. throw away all suspicions.

human character

2011-01-04T00:05:00.001+08:00

i've realised that people's character can be so complex, and different from one another. its just amusing how people grow and get shaped into a unique person that can never be duplicated.

amazing.

perhaps i should start accepting myself, before i work on anything else.

^-^

Jesus is the reason for the season

2010-12-20T17:14:00.000+08:00

Santa Claus, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman
(they have got nothing to do with christmas)

I received a christmas card which says "May Santa bring you and your family good health and a happy new year!!" you have no idea how this sentence manage to irritate me so much. but maybe i should not be, cuz the person who wrote this card most probably didnt think much before penning. does that guy not know that santa is just a fairy tale ???
.
.
Carols, pretty christmas trees, presents. They just represent feelings that may be a response to the commercialism that distorts the real spirit of christmas. The christmas spirit we talk about is supposed to be like a reminder to us that we should live our lives like God himself. Duplicating that same kind of humble service to others, like how Jesus Christ died on the cross for us, dying for our sins.
.
It is not the 'love' 'friendship' and whatever that the carlsburg beer advertisement tells us it is. it is not 'santa bringing us good health' it is also not the twinkling christmas tree. So, lets not start talking glibly about the 'christmas spirit' without knowing what it means. it would soon sound very cliche and meaningless because none of those captures the real meaning of that phrase.
.
let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus - philippians 2:1-11
merry christmas people :)

concieted

2010-11-24T12:29:00.002+08:00

so why should someone wearing a branded top or any pretty clothes be deemed as 'cooler' and more 'accepted 'then someone wearing just a normal tee which doesnt look spectacular from any angle ?

iphone four or an outdated nokia phone.

vans or a fake china-branded converse.

with make up, without make up.

levi's jeans or night market jeans.

whats the difference ?

aren't we all just consumers in the end ?

hello.

2010-11-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

please give up :(

feeling pain is better off than not feeling.

2010-10-19T01:19:00.003+08:00

when we are exposed to too much pain, we might just get immune to it. and we'll lose hope, thus losing feelings thus losing ourselves.

sooner or later, people would resort to cutting themselves. it enables them to feel again. doesnt matter if its pain or otherwise.

feeling pain is better off than feeling nothing.

Oh my God. With a capital G.

2010-09-09T01:27:00.001+08:00

everyone seems so happy and perfect. but who knows whats really going on beneath ? :(

oh dear.

2010-09-02T21:50:00.001+08:00

avoiding over-rated things are so over-rated.

gahh. im getting addicted to the smell of fixatives.

2010-08-22T18:51:00.000+08:00

i dont want anything without your blessing.

do not do not do not JUDGE.

2010-08-16T19:50:00.004+08:00

i am extremely sorry for being

opinionated
judgmental when i don't understand a thing about the person.

for a few years of my sec school life.

_____________________________________________________________________

i promise i would get rid of this habit. because

people like that are really really very extremely IRRITATING and DISTURBING :)

shall not dislike irritating and disturbing people too, if i do, i'll become an opinionated and judgmental person.

OH SO CONFUSING :S

______________________________________________________________________

Matthew 7

Judging Others

¹"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

⁶"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

Oh God, how can anyone not judge ?!

fear and respect.

2010-08-10T11:55:00.003+08:00

'there is no men who fear his wife, only one that respects his wife'

from the movie ip man.(Y)

ulterior motives ?

2010-08-09T00:31:00.004+08:00

i just asked my mum, 'does people always look out for ulterior motives when conversing?'
she says, 'no i don't, there are some people like that though.'
she makes the 'some people' sound so distant.
little did she realize that her daughter is one of them.

she probably assumes that i have some 'problems' now.
its good though :)
i think i have some problem too.

downdowndown

2010-08-07T23:48:00.001+08:00

i am sad :(

i love awkward nerdy guys

2010-08-06T22:50:00.001+08:00

Your forgiveness.

2010-08-02T08:24:00.001+08:00

God, can You still forgive me after all that i have done ? please please please.

torn between what she wants and what she needs

2010-08-01T01:42:00.005+08:00

She knew the truth,

but still she looked me in the eyes and lied,

Saying its time to cut the ties,

Time to say goodbye, So she left.

.....

if you see kay- the script

the news is getting depressing.

2010-07-31T02:00:00.002+08:00

1. terrorism plot on Singapore

2. people queueing for iphone4

3. ellen degeneres leaving american idol

4. mother kills 8 infants.

sigh sigh sigh.

i forgot to love.

2010-07-29T20:07:00.005+08:00

life is so hard to live when i refuse to walk with you.

Nehemiah 9:17 (New International Version)
They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.

_____________________________________________________________________

love your neighbours,
love your enemies
love the sinners.
As you yourself, is unlovable.

lost for words

2010-07-25T11:01:00.000+08:00

good morning :)

life of a designer

2010-07-22T10:21:00.001+08:00

obsessive-compulsive

2010-07-14T20:31:00.002+08:00

ob·ses·sive-com·pul·sive

[uhb-ses-iv-kuhm-puhl-siv]

–adjective

of or pertaining to a personality style characterized byperfectionism, indecision, conscientiousness, concern withdetail, rigidity, and inhibition.

my dangerously little thanksgiving items.

2010-07-14T09:07:00.004+08:00

With this kind of workload and this kind of crazy sleeping hours, its really hard for me to stop complaining. and i just feel like a whine these few days >:[

so lets try to find something nice to be thankful about :)

Chris doesn't seem pissed by my whiney-ness :D
I didn't fail any assignments as of yet.
last minute works got me a B+
someone's shoulders to lean on, and make me feel that everything is alright.
someone who treats me like a princess and make me feel like things are better than just 'alright'
i got myself out of jc, if not i'll be killed even more.
yog break is coming, soon ? please come soon T-T

he don't love her anymore

2010-07-10T10:05:00.001+08:00

you have nothing.

nothing but knowledge.

this feels very horrible.

2010-07-02T00:13:00.003+08:00

. . . . .

2010-07-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

give me the world on a silver platter
what good would it do, with no one to share.
or someone who truly cares.

:)

muacks :D

2010-06-22T00:27:00.002+08:00

i have the best parents in the world!
love them many many. <3

Thank God for giving me awesome parents.
Thank God for giving me a good life.
Thank God for giving me ups
Thank God for giving me downs.
Thank God for making me who i am now.
Thank God for letting me fall.
Thank God for forgiving all the mistakes that i have committed.
Thank God for making me realise that i suck.
Thank God for being there for me.
Thank God for bringing me to Him, when im in my lowest.
Thank God for everything.

Love Me.

2010-06-17T23:51:00.007+08:00

Love me - by collin raye

9699 views

Love Me - by Justin Bieber

2,141,098 views

Seriously people, is this what you really want ? - -'' whats wrong with this generation.

say hi!

2010-06-11T14:20:00.001+08:00

sometimes we need to take a risk, and throw ourselves into the world of unknowns. bubbles dont last long.

but

2010-06-06T01:33:00.002+08:00

i love it when i hear 'i love you' even though i still wonder if its true.

hello

2010-06-06T00:33:00.002+08:00

i feel like blogging. the 'blogging feel' is here now. but i just have nothing to say. oh well.
who actually bothers to find hidden messages anymore? someone come and prove me wrong
byebye. see you soon and have a nice day :)

under his hands.

2010-06-02T21:43:00.001+08:00

after so much i have sinned, i have to thank God for his love.

dig a hole, hide the world.

2010-05-24T17:00:00.003+08:00

i dont give a damn about chemistry practicals,
biology essay questions,
social studies seq.
you've got to hold some pride in your work
mine is non existant.

assignments x10

2010-05-22T00:15:00.004+08:00

seriously, its not that hard. you pig head

i chose what i want. and what am i doing now? i deserve a slap.

kevin carter

2010-05-20T21:37:00.002+08:00

Make photos speak a thousand words
not just pretty postcard covers

Moving On

2010-05-19T23:02:00.007+08:00

"No one is perfect

People make mistakes

We just forgive and move on with life.

________________

But sometimes its hard not to expect too much.

happy birthday :D

2010-05-19T00:26:00.002+08:00

omgggg. super mario turns eighteen! :O

Lord, You have taught me how to love

2010-05-10T22:45:00.010+08:00

When you think you have lost all your ability,
when you think you forgot how,
when you think its impossible, to love.

Simply...

Think about His love.
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace that's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love

How could I forget His love
And how could I forget His mercies
Remember that he satisfies.

Third person and counting

2010-05-02T00:30:00.003+08:00

Some people just get scarred easily.

They cry quicker and remember longer.

Nothing wrong, they are just born that way.

Lord, teach me how to love.

2010-04-22T22:53:00.008+08:00

You’re like the North Pole of a magnet, and he is also the North Pole of another magnet. There’s no way for both of you to be together. There’s a force that’ll always push you both apart. This force might be different interests, communication problems and so on. However, if you put another metal bar in between, both you magnets will stick to it. It dissolves the force that pushes both of you away. And that metal bar is what we call

love.

2010-04-14T21:07:00.003+08:00

GAHH

insecurities.

2010-04-14T05:23:00.006+08:00

a diamond that lost its shine.
a rose whose red has started to fade.
of what worth are they.

any takers ?

what do you think ?

2010-04-07T15:16:00.002+08:00

Good Friday

2010-04-02T11:12:00.011+08:00

He was wounded for our transgressions
abused for our inequities
and through his wounds, we are saved.

That man on the cross, died for you.

stressed out.

2010-03-26T23:28:00.006+08:00

too many commitments.too little time.i wish i can throw all my problems to someone and they will come up with an answer sheet,an immaculate one, to solve all of them.

...

but then again, i do not have the rights to complain do i ? These are too mundane.
"You dont fail in life just because you fail your A lvls" how encouraging :)

...

so maybe thats the problem. i should let all my expectations be made known. instead of keeping everything. of course it would cause some trouble. or things might not turn out well. but isnt it better than pretending everything is ok when its not ?

...

this might be the worst critisism i may have ever gotten. and it just keeps replaying. you dont seem to care. is there really no one that is able to sense the storm below the calm. or are they just pretending not to see it. or are they seeing it too much now they cant be bothered.

...

sorry mum, for venting all my frustrations on you these few weeks. i feel very unworthy for you. sorry.

...

no matter how much you say you love. theres just no reassurance.

Attitude Changes.

2010-03-21T18:00:00.001+08:00

After so many years of striving for something platonic, it feels sinful to look forward to that special tingle.

Feeling Loved

2010-03-18T20:28:00.013+08:00

Today is a greeeeeaat day because:

my auntie called me this morning to warn me of drinking too much bubble tea. she was watching an interview of a docter on a taiwan tv program, saying that a cup of bubble tea a day, brings you 15 kg a year! thanks yi ma. although i dont drink bubble tea (mario better watch out)

i lost my wallet and handphone in the toilet today, in je library. and two kind souls returned it to me. and we realise we are both from pj. thank God the wallet wasn't lost cause if it is, i will loose my ezlink, posb card, church's dbs card and ic. thank God the phone wan't lost cause if it is, then i will feel very bad cause my uncle just gave it to me.

i just read my first article from newsweek and loved it. conclusion: having a strong command of english is really very beneficial. was inspired by the way the author put forth his point in a very ____ way. i need to improve my english.

picked up two good books from the library.

told chris that today is a good day. and he reminded me of the chicken rice uncle who allowed me to refund the ordered plate of chicken rice. with a smile on his face he said, 'oh its ok' when i told him i have no money to pay.

saw a quote on esther's blog and found it so relevant.
"As soon as I left high school I cut my ties with everyone I knew and took off to a new city and I started again. I moved [between] towns in British Columbia. I remember saying to myself when I got to this new town, ‘You can be anyone you want to be now. Nobody knows you. Nobody has an expectation of you. So you choose who you want to be".- Evangeline Lilly

so today is a great day :) lets pass on the love. get optimistic :D

wake up call.

2010-03-03T22:51:00.009+08:00

'Even if this world is corrupted. i shall die alone, holding on to what i know is right.
keep me with You, i dont want to drift away.'

This was posted on nov 09. 4 months have just passed. are you still holding on to what you know is right? have you drifted away ?

Here are somethings that i told myself i would never do.
i would say:

i would never be bribed, even if a million dollars is right infront of my face
i would never cheat on my bf/gf/spouse.
i would never smoke cause i hate smoking
i would never kill for revenge
premarital sex would never happen to me
drugs would never get into my life

i thought i was invulnerable. i thought these things wont ever happen to me. but i have come to a conclusion:

dont tell yourself that things would never happen to you if you were never in their shoes. even solomon, david and saul fell to temptation. what are you compared to them ?

do you think that you are the only soul out there that is able to withstand the temptations of the world? or do you think that you are the sharpest tool in the shed that is waiting to be discovered ?

please. do not be so full of yourself just yet. we might fall into any of the temptations above if careless. there is no definite good guys or bad guys. good guys placed in the bad guy's shoes might turn into a bad guy. vice versa. therefore, if you are put into an ex convict's shoes, you might commit the sins that you once said you would never do. humans are sinful by nature. if adam and eve cannot hold themselves from eating the apple, neither can you.

'even if this world is corrupted. i shall die alone, holding on to what i know is right. keep me with You, i dont want to drift away.'

it isn't as easy as i thought it was. wake up call clarice. press on! mingkang chuan dao once said in a sermon, "dont try! sure die!". most awesome statement made. now i fully understand. do not give satan any chance to pull you away from God. don't risk it. cause you will SURE DIE.
- - !

do not judge people's sins, because only God is capable of doing so as he is perfect. our knowledge is partial therefore our judgement is partial too. do not look down on people cause you might be one of them. do not hate anyone for their mistakes because their mistakes could be yours too.

life's lessons indeed. but am i able to do what i just typed above? no i can't. because i am nothing without God. but with Him, i can do everything.

From me to you.

2010-01-14T01:47:00.008+08:00

I was walking under the stars

Like you know,
Onwards but never seeing hard.
Venus moon was shinning at us.
Every single second with you was so beautiful and ever lasted.

You shone a light in my tunnel,
On the patches of dark shadows.
Unbelievable as how your wonder danced,

Cute bears slowly came up.
Little birds flying around.
Always singing when you're smiling not frown.
Really amazing as this picture will be,
It can never beat the warmth of your hug baby.
C the ocean so blue,
Ever it dry up, that's when I will stop caring for you.

-Mario

hello :)

2010-01-04T17:45:00.002+08:00

i can no longer keep up with all the my-life-is-so-hyped-up-and-awesome conversations.

are you really hiding or just plain unfeeling.

mind games.

2009-12-29T21:59:00.003+08:00

freak. how do i wake you up. wont mind ending our friendship just so that you can come to realisation. well, not that it holds much value to you.

merry christmas people !

2009-12-24T21:18:00.004+08:00

This was posted on last year's christmas. Guess im gonna repost this every year :)

________________________________________________________________________

Santa Claus, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman
(they have got nothing to do with christmas)
.
.
I received a christmas card which says "May Santa bring you and your family good health and a happy new year!!" you have no idea how this sentence manage to irritate me so much. but maybe i should not be, cuz the person who wrote this card most probably didnt think much before penning. does that guy not know that santa is just a fairy tale ???
.
.
Carols, pretty christmas trees, presents. They just represent feelings that may be a response to the commercialism that distorts the real spirit of christmas. The christmas spirit we talk about is supposed to be like a reminder to us that we should live our lives like God himself. Duplicating that same kind of humble service to others, like how Jesus Christ died on the cross for us, dying for our sins.
.
It is not the 'love' 'friendship' and whatever that the carlsburg beer advertisement tells us it is. it is not 'santa bringing us good health' it is also not the twinkling christmas tree. So, lets not start talking glibly about the 'christmas spirit' without knowing what it means. it would soon sound very cliche and meaningless because none of those captures the real meaning of that phrase.
.
let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus - philippians 2:1-11
merry christmas people :)

Our God is an awesome God

2009-12-20T03:59:00.005+08:00

Amazing. in all sense of the word. Only He can put the right people in the right place at the right point of time. Go God! you are awesome. Never ever will i want to leave your prescence.

nothing is always black or white.

2009-12-18T19:34:00.006+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

check check check check check for everything

i pass.

love is when you can accept the person for who he is.
but i constantly find myself trying to change you.

i suck.

you're not a christian
you smoke
powerful vocab filled with vulgarities.
you throw things out of the window (?!?!)
without goals or aims.
you dont take care of yourself
you have a temper

but you are badly scarred.

i find myself wanting to show you that love is possible. trust is possible. there really really is one in a million. or more than one in a million. i want you to experience the love that God has for you.

i suck. i suck. i suck.

dont understand it. will i be able to change you. should i even try to. will you be able to take care of me at all. why am i always the one listening to people.

tired.

maybe i do love you.

or maybe you really wont get to hear those three words at all.

oh my god. forgive me. please.

i should just go bang my head on the wall and die. thank you very much.

Its drawing near!

2009-12-12T14:41:00.003+08:00

christmas never fails to give me a bitter sweet feeling.

merry christmas in advance people :)

:D

2009-12-08T02:50:00.002+08:00

my dad agreed to lend me his nikon camera for jyf camp. so i brought it back to singapore from china after my visit there cus thats where he works. but i stupidly forgot the charger for the camera. he made a call just now telling me that he would fly over to pass me the charger if its really neccasary.

wow. thats my dad?

not that ive ever doubted his love for me. but now i can really see it. asked my uncle for his cam, he denied. saying its too expensive. lack of trust i guess. my heart just broke when a friend from church didnt dare to lend it to me. but hey, he is my uncle! broke even harder.

man, dad, you're the best(Y)

its not always that simple.

2009-12-07T23:16:00.005+08:00

the good guy being placed in the bad guy's shoes might turn into a bad guy. vice versa.

down on inspiration.

theologies theologies theologies. does it really bore people.

messed up

2009-11-16T01:02:00.006+08:00

love or be loved. i would choose the former. would i ? disgusted with myself.
this year:

spent my birthday with mario on the first few hours of 15th nov.
went to catch a movie with felise, kemei, felicia, qiuru and zhengyi at night and recieved a mickey bday present.

received dozens of birthday wishes through text, fb and from church.

celebrated with family on 14th night.

i would have to say a big big thank you to all of them. made my birthday a memorable one for sure. love all of you. but its mixed with a tinge of dissapointment though.

more to life

2009-11-12T21:20:00.005+08:00

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go
There's gotta be more to life, than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

love her (Y)

To: someone unknown.

2009-11-12T20:57:00.006+08:00

i cant promise you that i will bring you high up into the heavens. nor can i promise that i will bring colour to your life. cant make you laugh your day away, but i'll give you something that is much more valuable than temporary highs. i promise, i will shower you with all the love that i have. something that you will rarely be able to find in this world filled with blinded eyes and callous hearts. hundred percent true.

do not be cynical about me. dont ever be.

girl, don't give up.

2009-11-05T17:12:00.010+08:00

is it that hard to see whats inside. cant you see through my eyes. do i need a loud speaker, do i need to scrape off everything, do i need to tell you i love you to show you that i do.

do i mean nothing at all.
can i trust u.
can you put everything down and give me your all?
doubt anyone can
where is the love?
doubt anyone has.

i will not:
say things that i dont mean.
be with you if i dont love you.
do things that i dont feel right.

against my conscience are they
and im keeping it that way.

even if this world is corrupted. i shall die alone, holding on to what i know is right.
keep me with You, i dont want to drift away.

out on your corner in the pouring rain.

2009-11-04T17:13:00.006+08:00

didnt know that good bye, meant everything.
farewell.

shan and rozz meets ris

2009-11-01T12:24:00.001+08:00

word of the day

2009-10-28T21:10:00.006+08:00

cyn-ic:
–noun
a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.

I love you, you love me, we are one big family, with a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too!

it would be easier to say i love you when we are not being cynical.

dont want to be everyone

2009-10-24T14:46:00.001+08:00

i want to believe you.

quoted

2009-10-22T10:50:00.036+08:00

"Why people do what they do, why they feel how they feel. Because we all need support. More than a form of support.And when you can’t find that support at home, you try looking for it elsewhere. You try looking for a substitute. You manage to find one, put all your hopes and fears and everything you can give in that substitute. And when that substitute leaves, you’re left with nothing.Your support, your fears, your hopes, everything you gave, everything you’ve received. Everything’s gone.Of course it breaks you."
________________________________________________________________________________
Agreed. but the thing is, there cant be and wont be any substitutes that will stay with us forever. so we will just keep getting ourselves broken, over and over again. its just sooner or later. until there is nothing left of us. 'change is the only constant we can find' how true could it get.

sorry, i cant help it but quote.

Matthew 6:19
'Do not store up for yourselves treasures* on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.'

treas⋅ure*
–noun : any thing or person greatly valued or highly prized
–verb : to retain carefully or keep in store, as in the mind.
____ : to regard or treat as precious; cherish.

theives will break in and steal the substitute, it would rust and be destroyed. mark His words. it cant go wrong. dont force Him to rip everything off you like how i forced Him to rip away a huge part of me. or maybe He already did rip you off ? idk. surely i wont be able to understand the pain you have gone through, and you wont be able to understand mine.

but i found it, lost it, and realised there is only one way. thats why we call it project oneway :D
rejoice in your suffering because now i am finally rejoicing after everything has passed.

I believe that God exists, thats why i trust that He makes all things beautiful in His time. no matter how hard it is.

some times i have to constantly remind myself, comeon!
He made a donkey talk!
He split the red sea!
He lead isrealites out of egypt!
He made the lame walk again!
He let the blind see!
He revived the dead!
He rose from the dead!
the list goes on

God of all wonders, He touched my heart.
I am just a speck of dust. but He still cares.

amazing. amazing. amazing.

Do you believe all these ? let me tell you that its freakingly true. cuz i experienced it.
and no, its not a scam. go girl, im keeping you in my prayers. yay or nay? sorry if you think this is all bullcrap. please forgive me (A) cuz its bullcrap from the bottom-est of my heart.

my heart must be filled with it :O

stop acting.

2009-10-18T20:21:00.002+08:00

it gets too tiring when you try to please everyone.

heated up.

2009-10-17T19:22:00.004+08:00

i have the most adorable-est, loveliest, cutest jyfers ever!
love how people can speak up so strongly for the things that they believe in.

brain is malfunctioning. not in chronological order.

2009-10-12T20:00:00.004+08:00

just fell in love with this thing called oreo cheesecake.
There is so much i want to say to all the people around me. but cant find the courage to. but then again, love is not love unless it is expressed
i am going to write love letters to everyone in school that made an impact on me. and pass it to them during prom. so, long lost friends, be prepared to get a shock.
i am drifting away. someone pull me back!
two more weeks to Os but the momentum of studying is still not here. hey, its just ordinary levels. not even advanced.
something is telling me that i should lock the com, throw my phone away, crash the tv, and go somewhere isolated.
i like jason mraz
cant wait to leave huayi!
the library is so filled with people these few days. love to see everyone studying so hard. but its scary

hold on to your faith

2009-10-11T13:20:00.004+08:00

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. "
-2 tim 4: 2-5

just got a tight slap in my face.
its scary how we can become so shrewd.
say NO to Balaam's ways :)